N.B.

Nothing in my last blog was meant sarcastically, offensively or unpleasantly - I genuinely am just taking time out to get my head and life in order, and deal with a lot of issues that've been on the back-burner for way too long.

As per advice of a lot of friends past and present, I'm finally taking time out, a holiday of sorts, to have some 'me' time that's greatly needed - been trying to be all things to all people, all of the time for way too long. Dangerously close to burning out completely, and tbh, lucky I've realised that now rather than later when I'd have crashed completely.

Anyway, bottom line is this. If anyone hits crisis genuine while I'm taking this 'vacation' type thing, then of course I'll still be here, but other than that, I'm nobody's priest or shrink or go-to guy for the next while - I'm not saying I've ever felt like I was expected to give help all the time, I did and do want to, but I am only human, and having not taken a holiday in years, this is sorta like an overdue retreat to recharge. It's a bout of overdue selfishness that I honestly think will be to my and other people's advantage when the effects pay off.

Day-to-day, I wont be around all that much insofar as I'll be spending time doing things I've wanted to do for a while - read Confucius for a day sipping malt in the garden, or explore my family history proper, maybe casually learn the basics of another language for pleasure instead of working myself stupid at it. Spend a day exploring the less commercial parts of Glasgow, or listen to completely new music, read Orwell and Faulkner for pleasure, go random walks down the beach or elsewhere just to think and take a look at things. As well as that, going to take the time to really work through a lot of past and present issues, catch up with people from the past that I miss, spend time with family... you get the drift.

You're probably thinking this is something that I should be hitting twenty years down the line, and you're right, I've always pushed myself too hard too often. I'm not burning out completely, more recharging.

Anyway, I'll now swing to my point. If I'm distant, or you don't hear from me for a little while at a time, or anything like that, it's nothing to worry about, it's nothing personal, and I'll be back when I'm good and ready. I know some people will look at that and think, well hey, we're just expected to wait? Well, I know those closest to me will understand this, and know how much it's needed, and some indeed reccomended it. Anyone else... well, if I gain nothing else from this, who's still there when I get back will show me who really knows me and who cares.

Pause For Thought

Okay, as things are, I've been doing some thinking and I've got a lot more to do, not sure where this will end up at-all.

Anyway, my point being that for the next little or not so little while (as I said, no idea where this will go) I'm taking a step back out of the picture.

I say again I don't know where this is going, so I don't know who or where will hear from me again once I get where I'm going (metaphorically speaking) on this one, think there are some aspects of my life are doing more damage than anything else, and that's been a long time coming - this isn't aimed at or specifically because of any one thing or person, or aspect of my life. It's more a much overdue bit of soul-searching: one can only spend so much of ones life drifting through it without a fairly clear idea of where they are and all.

It's really difficult to explain if you haven't hit that point before and all, but bottom line is, I'm going off grid for maybe not long, maybe a while, and this is to let any and all know what's going on with me for now, and that I'm not dead yet. :-)

Thank you ladies and gentlemen, you've been fantastic.

Ky. xxxx